My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
