My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
