dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
