I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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