I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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