Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
