I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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