you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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