oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
