I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you would pick up someone in the library
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
