At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
