bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
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I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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