she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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