you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
