i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
