i jhust puked up my retainher.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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