I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
