I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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