I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Will exercising make me less horny?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
