oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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