My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
