All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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