I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
