sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
