My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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