We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
