So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
