Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
