finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
