Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
