I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
