I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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