I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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