Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
