that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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