I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
