nut hugger
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
