I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
