farters have to be the big spoon...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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