I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
