I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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