i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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