He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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