I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
