im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
