Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
