if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
