Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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