I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
