i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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