I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
